{ ... }: { 
  programs.nixvim.plugins.alpha = {
    enable = true;
    iconsEnabled = true;

    layout =
      let
        centeredText = {
          position = "center";
          hl = "@comment";
        };

        mkPadding = size: { type = "padding"; val = size; };
        mkText = text: { type = "text"; val = text; opts = centeredText; };

        mkGroup = val: { inherit val; type = "group"; };
        mkGroupItem = desc: shortcut: {
          inherit shortcut desc;
          command = "";
        };
      in
      [
        (mkPadding 6)
        (mkText ''
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣶⡄⠱⣦⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠛⠉⡙⣿⣿⡄⢹⣧⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡿⢋⣠⠾⠋⠉⢹⣿⣷⢸⣿⡆⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠏⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⠟⢡⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠃⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠁⣴⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠏⢠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠟⢁⣼⣿⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣄⠁⠰⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠁⣴⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⣼⡿⢃⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣼⠟⠁⣸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
              ⠀⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
            '')
        (mkPadding 4)

        (mkText ''
          "Gordon doesn't need to hear all this,
           he's a highly trained professional"
                - Dr. Coomer PhD, 2000
        '')
      ];
  };
}